~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Emerging through Shattering Projections~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To feel my energy expand

between not wanting

and persisting in midst of unwanted duties,

ask

What is bigger? —

The potential loss or the possibility of growth?

And then dive!

Find out, if you’ll thrive.

So, am I?

Recently, we’ve been talking about

what it means to live and die freely (to us).

Being in Bulgaria right now frees me of the shackles of bureaucratic rigidity.

Of stuck in pattern thinking.

 

.                     (That’s in Sofia, my dears. In Vienna this could be sold for thousands as an expressionistic act of dadaistic defiance)

 

Since childhood days I knew of the beauty

in the most trashy situation

– saw the colourful shimmers in broken glass.

Being in Sofia reminds me of that in mosaic.

It’s effortless to exist there for me…

In protective distance.

 

 

The magnified version of this projection,

Brimming

Sticking in chicken poo,

war talk

Traumatic face recognition

And maybe a brainwashed survival strategy.

In a way I’m thriving on the dirt.

In another I find myself in new shackles.

I’m sure a proper yogi would be able

to spill some wise words.

 

Whatever.

I surrender.

I am not enlightened, neither am I aiming for such a state at this point.

But I do have an inner wisdom that guides me on the journey.

So what did I learn from it this week?

• Make sure to not merge with your work.
• Improvement is endless. (So are the opportunities for complaints)
• So give others space to think and feel whatever they have going – they might also find some peace and balance in control and emotional entrapment.
• I am not my work.
• And when others want to interpret a certain way into what you do, they will – no matter what you do!

 

So take good care of your soul.

Retreat.

Find space for yourself.

Distance is fine in a group that cannot (fully) meet each other by heart.

Frustration in measure can bend endurance – as you’re able to focus more deeply on the actual work.

If it threatens to snap all effort – leave!

Engage in what brings you joy. (May it be judged or not.)

I do know my path of growth.

It is okay to keep it for myself!

And to share it with only those

Who ask from and with their heart.

It does save my energy too.

~written by Michelle B.